Teach Me Love
by cyanidecharlie77
Summary: After being stripped of his grace, former angel Castiel needs to be taught how to be a typical human. Everything from how to dress to how to love. He's an eager student and wants to be taught.
1. Inquiries

Here we are, yet again, stuck in a crumby motel room, waiting for news on the case we're working. Dean was out interviewing a family member of the victim. The vic had been found with two puncture wounds on the back of their neck. Likely vamps.

And while he did that, Sam caught up on sleep. He'd been tired a lot lately, but probably because of his recent injuries, so we let him be.

Sorry, sorry... let me brief you.

I'm Ellie Gatina. Hunter and friend of the Winchester's. If you know anything about the supernatural realm of life, you know of the Winchesters. Used to be hell and heaven's most wanted, now neither want them.

We joined forces on their last few cases, I usually preferred to work alone. No strings attached. Only myself to care for. But working with these guys was much better. Meet them by mistake at a bar once, not recognizing the faces, but when I had brought Dean back to my motel room and searched his wallet while he was asleep (What can I say? I don't trust people, needed to know the truth since he was obviously not a FBI agent as he had claimed) and I found his real ID. I nudged him awake, showing what I had found.

"You went through my stuff?" He jumped, alarmed and grabbing his clothes.

"You're Dean Winchester?" He turned his head to the side like a confused puppy.

"I'm a hunter too, Dean. Promise. Holy water, salt, iron and cut me if you need." I pulled my shirt up and showed the small tattoo on my hip bone, an anti-possession symbol.

He lightened up a bit, still gathering his clothes and getting dressed. "Had fun, see you later," he said as he headed for the door.

"Wait, I assume you're here for the wendigo?" And we eventually worked together on the case. We'd happen upon the same thing and help each other out. Never mentioning our drunken night again.

This time though, we got together when Garth had me come along to an avenging ghost case. We've been working together since. Us three and sometimes the angel.

Castiel had stayed behind at the bunker, eating and sleeping a lot, not knowing how to deal with being human. We found him after he was stripped of his grace and dropped into Colorado. He had managed to find another hunter who helped him find us again. He was dirty and damaged when I went to pick him up at the truck stop the other hunter left him at. I drove him to a nearby motel, fed him and cleaned his wounds.

He was distraught at the thought of being a human, yet wanted to know all the things he didn't.

The ride back to the bunker was a quiet one. Until he remembered something Dean had told him previously.

"Ellie," he started. "Do you want me?"

I looked over at him, confused. "What do you mean Cas?"

"Dean told me that all humans need to survive is food, sex and someone to want them. Is that true?"

I sighed. Teaching him things was going to be hard. Especially with so many varied opinions amongst us. But I was glad to do it. He needed to know.

"Sort of. Each human is different. I personally, all I want in life is to be happy. Dean wants Sam to be happy and to keep him safe. Others might want a family or money. Each human is fueled by something different. Greed, hunger, sin, love or lust. If you could have anything you want in the entire universe, what would it be? Could be an thing or an emotion."

He paused for a moment, taking in everything I had said. "To be an angel again."

"Other than that," I added.

"Food, drink, clothing. Essentials to living and... to figure this human thing out." He said simply.

"Good, good." I paused. "But those are things you need to have. Not things you desire or feel like you need."

"Like you feel like you need a family of your own?" He asked, innocently.

My eyes widened. I had never told anyone of my desire of a family. I wouldn't. The life I live is no way to raise a child or to have roots. It would only get everyone around me hurt. But my heart wanted a husband and child so badly. I couldn't help myself from wanting them, no matter how unrealistic.

"I've seen the way you look at mothers with their children. You are a human woman and humans do feel the urge to mate, whether they want to or not. Most people mate for pleasure rather than to produce offspring, as it is intended. Like Dean."

I blushed at the thought of talking to angel of the lord about sex. It was sort of awkward. But this is all things he needed to know.

"Yes, like that. Is there anything you want similar to that?" I wished to get off the subject of what I want as quickly as possible. There had to be something he wanted other than to be an angel again.

"I wish to experience love. I want to know what that feels like. I've watched a television movie where humans say it's the best thing they've experienced. I want to try that. How do I love someone?" His eyebrows creased as he thought of the answer, searching through everything he knew already to figure it out.

Makes sense, I thought. It was completely reasonable and normal to want love. Whether to be loved or love another. Everyone secretly wants it I suppose.

I then explained love to this angel. Told him that it's when you care for someone so deeply that you would do almost anything to protect them. You can share things with him, things you sometimes wouldn't tell other people. He sat silently and drank in every word I said. You could see his expressions as he digested all of it, retaining it for later use.

Once we had reached the bunker, he clambered out of the small car and walked inside, greeting Sam and Dean. He sat at the kitchen table, looking amongst us all yet ignoring the brothers asking how he was.

"Dean. I need to tell you something." He rose and came to stand directly in front of Dean. "I think... I think I'm in love with you."


	2. Hunt

My jaw thudded against the floor as I watched Dean try to decipher what Castiel had just told him.

"You what? No Cas. No. You are not!" Dean shouted, taking a few steps back away from him wanting to put a lot of distance between the two of them.

Sam let out a school-girl giggle but Cas seemed hurt and very confused.

"But... from what Ellie has told me, you meet all the criteria for my love. I care for you to the extent of putting myself in harm's way in order to keep you from it. I would tell you things that I wouldn't tell Sam, if I had secrets. So that means I love you, doesn't it?"

All eyes on me then. "Ellie, you told Cas that he was in love with me?" I gulped, hoping this didn't roll into a huge fight.

"Dean, just be patient with him. He doesn't understand everything that we do. You confused him already. Cas... typically, a man doesn't love another man. I believe it's a sin?" I asked, looking to him for the answer.

"Yes, but I do not find myself to be a man, my soul is indifferent to genders. I'm an angel... not a man. I just happen to have a man's body." He looked down at his hands. "Homosexuality is a sin... but I only have a man's body. If I had a woman's body would you love me back Dean?"

He was appalled at the question. "No Cas... you are a man to us. Inside and out. You can't be in love with me. You gotta find a chick if you want that. Or Sam, he's pretty much a girl." Dean turned and left the room, no doubt to sit in his room and pretend this never happened.

"He's mad at me?" It seemed more of a statement than a question. I sighed heavily. This isn't going to be easy but now Sam had agreed to help me explain things to him and not let Dean influence him.

That had been a few weeks ago and since then he'd watched romantic movies, trying to figure where to find love and how to go about it. It was sort of funny, watching something so majestic as an angel try to understand something so simple and bland as a human.

Back to the present, Sam and I sat silently eating the dinner I fetched us at the tacky yellow table. Dean came back a few minutes after I had cleared the trash, and prepared for us to be headed out soon.

I like to think that the guys secretly love having me here to clean up and mother them. I don't mind it either. I typically do laundry and clean up after them. I actually enjoy it, just wish I had a house of my own to do this with. It keeps me from being homesick from a home I don't have.

Dean came in with a few scratches, he had gotten into it with a few vamps and had located their nest. He came back to fetch us to return to the small nest and take out the other vampires with him.

In a matter of a few minutes, we were loaded down with dead man's blood and holy water, ready to take on this easy task, as we had all faced several times in the past.

While the boys were checking out of the motel, I was loading the rest of my things into my car when a cold hand came across my mouth, making me stand straight up. I felt sharp metal pressed lightly against my throat as I looked around to see if anyone noticed. Nothing.

"Never killed a hunter before, this'll be fun." A raspy voice breathed into my ear, sending a foul metallic smell into the air. One I recognized all too well. Blood.

I heard someone shout my name and it drew the vampire's attention away from me long enough to shove their hand away while taking firm grip of it and twisting them around in front of me. His skin felt like old leather.. rough and rubbery. He was young, couldn't have been old enough to drive a car. I could hear two sets of footsteps coming after me and wasn't sure if it was friend or foe. I quickly drew my blade from my boot and sliced a deep cut into his neck. He took a few steps back but not far enough as I had drew my arms back again and ripped into the neck again, severing his head. It plopped to the ground and rolled into someone's feet. They didn't move. As I looked up to see who they belonged to, I was grabbed roughly by my hair. A burning sensation ran over my scalp as I hit the ground, landing on my hands and knees. I quickly rolled over and stood up, away from whatever had thrown me to the wet ground.

There were 4 vamps now, taking jabs at Dean and Sam who had come to help me. Luckily I still had a few syringes of dead man's blood in my pocket and I stabbed one needle into the back of what seemed like the stronger vampire, hindering him long enough for Dean to cut his head of as well. And in a matter of seconds all of them were beheaded.

I finally looked around at the deserted parking lot, thankful that no one was there to see that. We loaded the bodies into separate cars and drove to the nest, taking out the remaining 2 vampires that didn't seek us.

As we were burning the bodies, my cell phone rang. It was Cas.

"Concerned something was wrong, I quickly answered. "What's up?"

"Ellie... why do people only mate with someone they like? Why not with someone who would pass on strong genes to your offspring?" I sighed, another question from his learning mind.

"I'll explain when we get there, won't be long." And he hung up.


	3. Revelations

I hadn't thought about the resurfacing pain on my scalp until I was in my car, driving back to the boys' bunker. Touching the sore spot, I winced heavily as it shot a serious pain through my body. There was no hair. That sonofabitch vampire ripped out a section of my hair!

Rage ran through me, I hated vampires so bad already and this was not helping their case. I vowed vengeance for my hair with a pout as I continued to drive behind Dean's Impala.

I couldn't stop thinking about Castiel's question. I wasn't sure how I was going to answer this one. Why do us humans engage in sex with someone you're not intended for? 'Because it felt good' is the only answer I can sum up. And that wasn't good enough logic for this precious angel.

Sam had earlier commented on the way I took to this task so eagerly. He questioned my motive. Accusing me of liking Cas. This was not true.

Was it?

He is an incredibly handsome human. And I do enjoy his personality. He had made some mistakes in his past but hadn't we all? But that was just his vessel, Jimmy. That wasn't what he looked like, not in his true form. Jimmy is now his permanent look. I made a mental note to tell him about being vain, although I was sure he knew already.

So many thoughts filled my mind, I felt helpless.

Finally reaching the bunker, we all gather our things and went inside, finding Castiel watching porn.

"Awe Cas, c'mon. Shut it off." Dean whined, grimacing at him.

"I'm learning," he spoke without getting up. "Dude, what did I tell you? You can't watch this with other people. It's not right." he complained once more, heading off to the kitchen.

Castiel turned the television off, turning to ask Sam about the trip. Dean returned  
>with a beer in his hand, throwing himself down onto the lounge chair, propping his feet atop the table.<p>

I decided before anything, to clean my throbbing wound. Being sliced open, kicked in the gut and punched in the face never hurt as bad as getting a piece of my scalp ripped out. This pain seared through my body.

Leaning over the kitchen sink, I poured rubbing alcohol over my head, trying to avoid my eyes. It numbed the pain momentarily, but I only got a small part of it.

"Hey guys... could uh... could one of you help me with this?" I called out, sort of embarrassed to not be able to dress my own wound.

Dean came in first, hand on his gun that he kept against his back, followed by Sam. Their look of concern was certainly funny as I was seeing it upside down with my hair draped into the sink.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked, coming closer.

"Vamp ripped my hair out. I just need help cleaning it." I admitted shyly, handing him the bottle of alcohol. He looked at it before pouring the green substance over it. I like to think I have a high pain tolerance, but this sort of pain on my head was almost unbearable.

"Look's nasty, I don't know how to dress this wound. Never had this problem before."

Cas walked into the room and his eyes widened as he seen Dean pouring green water on my head which was making me draw in deep breaths.

"What are you doing to her Dean?" Castiel grabbed his hand, stopping him. He had a look of anger on his face.

"Dude, chill. I'm cleaning this for her. What's your problem?" He sat the bottle down, walking away.

"Are you alright?" Cas asked, touching my shoulder gently. "Yes, I'm fine. He was helping me. Not hurting me. This sterilizes the wound so it doesn't get infected. Like what I did you your hands." I spoke, confused. He looked down at his mostly healed hands. He had fallen shortly after have his grace removed and he caught himself with the palms of his hands, scraping them up pretty good.

"I thought he was hurting you Ellie. I'm sorry," he hung his head low, not looking up.

"It's okay, you didn't know what he was doing. Dean would never hurt me. He's my friend. Thank you for coming to my rescue though, I really appreciate it. Not many people would do that for me." I admitted, looking at his gorgeously blue eyes, I noticed how much he seemed to care.. even compared to a few days ago when I last saw him.

He tried not to make eye contact but I couldn't stop looking at his eyes. They were beautiful. His face was flawless... he hadn't shaved this morning, as his stubble showed. He looked up at me for a moment, smiling weakly before turning to walk out. He waltzed towards Sam, stopping to talk quietly for a moment then turning to apologize to Dean.

Suddenly I felt a fluttery feeling in my stomach. Something I had no experienced since I was a young teenager, having my first kiss under the bleachers. No no no... this can't be happening. He's an angel Ellie! You can't have feelings for him!

But he's not an angel... he's a human. He isn't an angel, not anymore. He was your average human with a mind of an angel.

Pulling my hair into a bun, I walked back through the living room area, saying my goodnights to everyone as I made my way to my room.


End file.
